I loved this analogy of yours, this idea of a lion. SHAHANI: One of the lessons in your book is about completing the stress cycle. And she still, sort of, had not put it together that just because you've dealt with the stressors, that doesn't mean that you've dealt with the physical event of the stress in your body. I was like, you're a choral conductor who expresses emotion through your body. And she calls me on the phone, and is like, your book here says that feelings are physical. So she's reading these books, and she sees the word rage on the page and spontaneously bursts into sobs. They are all over your body, in your chemistry. Can you just give an example of what you mean by that? Like, what is a conversation you had to have with your sister?ĮMILY NAGOSKI: Well, it mostly happened, like, your emotions are biological events that happen in your body. SHAHANI: So, you know, Emily, when your sister is in and out of the hospital, and you're bringing her books, you talk about teaching her about emotions. And they removed my appendix, which had been inflamed.Į NAGOSKI: Inflammation is a result of extreme stress. And a year later, I ended up back in the hospital. So in the next year, I started working on doing the actual things that the science says will combat burnout. So it was very supportive and convenient to have a twin sister who has a Ph.D. That's the sister to have.Į NAGOSKI: Yeah. So I spent about the next year - I called Emily, of course, who brings me a big stack of books because this is the way she shows her affection is peer-reviewed science. You just need to relax.Īnd that is not an evidence-based strategy for coping with stress, it turns out. And they didn't come up with a diagnosis. So it took me totally by surprise when in the middle of one night, I woke up in such pain that I had my husband drive me to the emergency room. I had no idea how much my body was suffering. And I was totally in denial about how hard I was working and how much challenge I was actually having. And the stresses of my life were overwhelming. And I'm the mother of three people who were teenagers at the time. It was after Amelia landed in the hospital twice.ĪMELIA NAGOSKI: I was in doctoral school getting my doctorate of musical arts in conducting. It's called "Burnout: The Secret To Unlocking The Stress Cycle." The sisters told us why they decided to write this book. They've written a new book that asks us all to step back and really look at how women are pushed to the breaking point. Feel like too much? Twin sisters Emily and Amelia Nagoski agree. Organize your house - really organize it. When it comes to taking care of yourself, there is no shortage of advice, especially if you're a woman.
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